He feels himself a bit of an outsider.
There are things he cannot say, things that are beyond acceptance. Chatty. And obscene.
There are things he might say (out of the frame) and things he’ll probably say that affect attitudes, weird attitudes. Stimulating, erotic. They think ha-ha-ha, but in fact it’s true.
He has a surge of this inexplicable feeling, intimidation or desire or something else. He is performing intimacy. He names truths on everyone’s lips. He is self- touching. He is two.
At twenty-one he creates a character. That helps a great deal. His voice is loud, he is uneven and eccentric. Directness. Different actions and poses.
If they find it repulsive, or outlandish or disgusting, that’s all right. If they love it, that’s alright. If they just shrug it off, it’s time to retire. It’s a sign of the times, isn’t it? Old values are crumbling. The whole trick is frankness, candour, a four letter word. If a thing is so weird, so new, so original, make it funny or disgusting. How far could he go before it was embarrassing? The idea of being able to go farther than D H Lawrence.
The wider its acceptance, the weaker it’s quality is bound to be.